The Ulitimate Guide to Zutara Fanfiction
by Nocturnus-Wing
Summary: How to write the perfect Zutara, Mary Sue an absolute must, people will never guess what happens!
1. Basic Story Structure

A typical Zutara/ Zuko paired with OC.

Katara/Mary sue is captured by Zuko after fighting each other. Zuko wins cause he is l33t or just happened to angst and pissed off enough that morning.

Clothes from Katara/Mary sue are either ripped to shreds or get lost somehow. Really all we want is some boobage. Zuko manages to hog tie them and fling them over his shoulder, without Katara/Mary sue making noise just in case Aang or family hear them and they get uber flamed by Zuko.

Katara/Mary sue get taken back to ship and dumped in a cell for a few hours to bemoan their fate or actually realise they fancy the guy who just abducted them. Minding the fact that any normal person would be screaming by now, they remain super calm and figure out a plan.

Lovely kind old Uncle Iroh just happens to come past, and has a cup of tea with Katara/Mary su because they are a pretty young woman. Zuko comes in, looks pissed. Iroh tells Katara/Mary Sue Zuko's life story just to make Katara/Mary Sue feel sowwie for poor little Zuko. He only wants daddy's love.

After a wonderful mind boggling game of pishu that only has a single lotus tile, Katara/ Mary Sue are allowed a nicer room and get to wander about the ship as they see fit. Despite the fact they are surrounded by their natural bending element, the gifted water bender refuses to move. I'm sure escaping is much worse than getting trapped on board with angsty little prince and drinking tea til you burst.

Somehow, Katara/Mary Sue is forced to share Zuko's bedroom, but Zuko seems just dandy with that once Uncle has said there was no choice. (his recent shop bargains had to go somewhere, and the empty cell was the only place he could find) Katara/Mary Sue refuse to sleep on floor so they share the bed, and SOMEHOW end up spooning each other or having a lovely cuddle.

Katara/Mary Sue have no spare clothes so they get the wear Zuko's. Yay, they smell good. Never mind that girls have certain needs at a time of the month, but that's why red is such a great colour. AND red happens to be a much better colour against the dark chocolate tones and the deep cerulean orbs deep as the deepest part of the sea, and all the watery goodness that is Katara/Mary Sue.

Aang and Sokka have all but disappeared, or having conveniently agreed before hand that they would go if anyone was left behind. Sokke complains about not getting anything to eat and Aang is just being the optimist and saying that Katara has been collecting water for the past three days and will be back soon. Never mind mastering the 4 elements, that can wait.

Mary Sue has to rely on her beauty and wits to get out of this sticky situation, omg! Gurl Power!!!111!!

By Chapter Two, Katara/Mary Sue and Zuko are trying ever so hard not to love each other but their feelings betray them. They have a romantic kiss as Iroh watches, finally happy that Zuko has a beautiful young everything bender to make him feel better. Of course Iroh was never really needed to help guide his newpew, all was needed with Mary Sue with a tragic past to set him straight. Now he'll hurt little Aang and will now join them to teach them firebendering.

The end…or is it? The typical way to end a fanfiction, as if all possible plot twists have occured and we can somehow have a sequel.

May you now go out and write your own fanfiction. Don't blame me for flaming, or I'll just flame you back, and spam the entire internet with flames of teh uber doom.


	2. How to Build a Sue

The Perfect Mary Sue.

Now in a perfect world, we need the perfect Mary Sue. Below is a guide entailing the basic requirements for the l33tes Mary Sue. Hopefully by the end we should have a Mary Sue so awesomely Mary Sue that she should have created world peace, arm wrestled with Neo and won, handed reared a litter of sparkle unicorns, married Zuko, bedded Sokka, Haru, Jet, Longshot and Iroh all at the same time, whilst saving a earth kingdom village from thugs.

Step One:

Take your bra size, and triple it.

Take your weight, half it, and then divide by 10 it until you get some zeros.

Take you height, add 8 inches, should be over 6ft ish.

Take a piece of string, wrap it around your waist and pull tight until you can't feel your legs. Measure this length and this should be roughly the size of your Mary Sue's waist. Tiny.

Step Two:

Now we have the impossible figure of the Mary Sue, time to move onto her beauty. She be of such an astounding beauty, that any canon character will fall in love with just her looks. This gift of beauty also comes with the handy mind wiping side effects. The canon character will instantly forget about any other logical love interest.

Long shiny hair that has no spilt ends is most common, or a short hair style with lots beads and braids, or huge plaits hanging everywhere. Of course the Mary Sue doesn't need to style her hair in the morning, so anything elaborate is fine whilst travelling.

Her eyes must be deep swirling pools of water, sparkly as the bestest diamond, and big as possible. Her eyes must change colour when feeling emotion, or when the weather changes., the more colours, the better.

High cheeks bones are a must, with a natural blush. Pouty, sensual lips needed, yes we all happen to look pouty and sexy all the time.

Add a scar from the fire nation so she has plenty of common ground with all of the canon characters, but it must not detract from her awesome beauty.

Step Three:

The Mary sue is an icon of strength prevailing from a tragic past. Upon discovering her great ability to bend all four the elements, as well as being Aang's long lost twin sister, Iroh's wife and a nobel peace prize winner, Mary Sue realised she wasn't like the other girls who bullied her at her tiny village because of her strange power to talk to animals, including her hairy gorilla of a dad. She is either cast of out her home, or her parents are murdered in front of her eyes by the Fire nation, she is perfectly content to carry on as a perky nice girl after shedding some tears over a their dead bodies and swearing revenge, and later to retract the revenge when she sees Zuko, PRINCE of the Fire nation.

She is able to turn any character around with mind blowing logic, and even convince Jet who harbours serious prejudices against the Fire Benders to try and get along with them.

Sometime along the way she must have mastered the elements, become a teacher to Aang, a wonderful duellist with spoons and sporks, or anything she can get her hands on.

And this complete the vauge guide to the Mary Sue, may you now go out in and write about the perfect Mary Sue, may you go out and reek havoc upon the English language


End file.
